You met in the math room. Your first date was a Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathon, and the soundtrack? Your eyeglass frames clicking against one another while you made out. Go forth, smart people, procreate. Raise your children to care about the space program.

1. Power Button Valentine

2. If Then Valentine
(via Nerd Valentine)

3. Vader/Death Cab Valentine

4. Daleks in Love Valentine

5. NPR Valentine

6. Bacon Math Valentine

7. iPhone Valentine

8. HTML Heart Valentine

9. Typography Valentine

10. Han Solo and Leia Valentine

I haven’t been able to get Kimbra’s “Settle Down” out of my head for days and days and days. (BOOM!Ba-boomBA!)

Kimbra is the woman featured on Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Love,” which — according to the comments — is everyone’s new favorite song.

Also, I’m meh on the song, but this video for “Cameo Lover” is trippy-twee fantastic. Have a look.

How to Write a Thank You Note, by Leslie Harpold
“I’m not going to go all Miss Manners on your ass and get into the social intricacies and delicate situations that surround thank-you note writing, as I was taught that a solid thank-you note will transcend all complicated situations—and I have seen no evidence to the contrary.”

How to Give a Eulogy by Tom Chiarella
“You were selected. You get to stand, face the group, the family, the world, and add it up. You’re being asked to do something at the very moment when nothing can be done. You get the last word in the attempt to define the outlines of a life. I don’t care what you say, bub: That is a gift.”

Can’t you almost smell that color?

When I first saw a Mountain Rose Apple, my breath caught. It reminded me of a professor who said that one of the Impressionist painters — I think it was Matisse — brought an apple as a gift when he visited friends. And that’s exactly what these apples are, tokens of affection. The best way to bring something simple and sweet to someone you love.

Taste 1,000 fruits is part of my ongoing Life List project. If you’d like to make a Life List of your own, start with these 10 tips or this exercise.

I didn’t finish the last third of Bed by Tao Lin, because it was bringing me down. But as you’ll see below, there were some lovely moments in the first bit, so don’t let my lack of initiative dissuade you.

The best parts of (the first two-thirds of) Bed, by Tao Lin:

Jesus loves you, he thought. But Jesus isn’t in love with you.

“If I gained thirty pounds,” Kristy said in bed, “would you still be with me?”
For love to work, Garret believed, you had to lie all the time, or you had to never lie at all. “I don’t know,” he said. You had to pick one and then let the other person know which you had picked. You had to be consistent, and sometimes a little stupid. “I can’t tell the future,” Garret said. “Obviously. Can you?”

Lucid as a tiny, soap washed moon.

Paul sees Mattie as she is going down the escalator and he is going up. They seem to look each other in the face. Mattie has an abstract expression, and Paul thinks of screaming her name, but then thinks that would be a bit ridiculous. Later, he thinks of just saying her name, at a normal volume. Of course, he thinks.

She grins a little. She reaches for the sugar, changes her mind, moves her hand to her water, changes her mind, brings her hand to her head, scratches behind her ear.

It was probably best not to think about your life, though — ever — Greg knew, but to just assume that it was there, and happening, to trust that it was out there, doing whatever it was that a life would do.

Greg stumbled for a bit, almost fell over. He had forgotten how to walk. Life was precarious like this.

Greg was one of those kids who, to avoid being seen eating alone, never sat in the cafeteria; was always carrying his lunch around, like someone lost or eccentric, looking for a safe place. He invariably ate in spots weird and badly-lit, spots ruthless with indignity — a dewy nook; an abstract, long-forgotten bench; an inexplicable room adjacent the bathroom, with prison bars instead of a door.

Sean looked at her teeth, the private collection of them, packed tightly inside of her small, elegant head, like a secret behind the face, a white and shocking hobby.

Vocab list:

Dugong — a large marine mammal which, together with the manatees, is one of four living species of the order Sirenia:

enjambment — the running on of the thought from one line, couplet, or stanza to the next without a syntactical break.

eschatologically — The branch of theology that is concerned with the end of the world or of humankind.

miasmic — A noxious atmosphere or influence.

pappy — soft and bland